Hammered

Today I decided that going for a walk around the suburb would be a good way to see ordinary life in middle America. But before I was even out of the cul de sac, I was breathing heavily. I was wondering if I’m more out of shape than I thought, but apparently since Colorado Springs is nearly 2000 metres above sea level, there’s a noticeably lower concentration of oxygen in the air, which, if you’re not acclimatised to it, can make you struggle to breathe even under mild exertion.

Either that, or these giant donuts and loaded fries are taking their toll.

I walked about half an hour up the main road, only encountering two or three other pedestrians, either jogging or walking a dog. Americans don’t walk for the purposes of getting from one place to another. They have ocean liner-sized pickup trucks for that. There were pedestrian crossings at major intersections but the buttons to activate them were as pristine as the day they’d been installed.

I eventually made it to a local diner, where I had a cup of coffee and a giant cinnamon scroll. The coffee was good but the scroll was obviously evil… and I don’t just mean because of its calorie content.

In the evening, I was taken to an upmarket Mexican restaurant for their Taco Twosday – two gourmet tacos and a 16oz margarita for $15. I hadn’t quite registered how much 16 ounces is – turns out, it’s nearly half a litre. Even allowing for a commercial margarita mix being largely sugar and non-citrus ‘lemonique’ flavouring, there’s always going to be a liberal amount of tequila in it.

And I had two, since I discovered that they had a frozen slushie one, and how am I supposed to say no to that?

As a result, I staggered out of the restaurant absolutely hammered. I was at that level of drunkenness when it takes all of your concentration to walk in a straight line, and respond to others without slurring. Unfortunately I was still rational enough that I could tell I wasn’t being particularly successful, but hey, I’m on holiday.