Bloody
Ah, 1958's black & white classic 'Night Of The Blood Beast'. Or as I like to call it, 'The Film That Even Roger Corman Had Better Things To Do Than Make'.
The Characters
Johnny - NASA pilot who dies, then comes back to life as broody as a mother hen. It could have something to do with the giant pulsating shrimp gestating in his chest cavity.
Synchronised Shrimp Throbbing in the 1958 Olympics.
Julie - Johnny's fiance, who doesn't seem overly perturbed either by his death or his resurrection.
Donna - NASA photographer and brain donor for Jessica Simpson.
C'mon Julie, do the Mashed Potato!
Steve - Man of action, trapped in a film without any.
Dave - Spare Steve, in case the lack of action gets too much for one man to handle.
Dr Wyman - Requisite professorial type, who gets his face eaten off.
I'm sorry, your fiance is dead. So, you seeing anyone?
Beast - Alien with a parrot-shaped papier mache head that looks like it was stolen from a tropical-themed gay pride parade float.
Polly wanna cracker... NOW!
The Plot
Beast kills people, people kill Beast, cycle of violence goes on. May be seen as an allegory for Israeli and Palestinian struggles for self-determination and coexistance. But isn't.
The Set
Apparently budget cutbacks have reduced NASA to operating out of a remote, half-derelict building, with a truck on loan from The Beverley Hillbillies.
The Special Effects
About on a par with 'Voyage To The Moon'. Which would have been great, if 'Voyage To The Moon' hadn't been made in 1902.
The Outcome
Pain, suffering and humiliation. But on the plus side, only an hour in length. And it did give John Baer the resume-padding he needed to score a role in 1967's 'Bikini Paradise'. Hubba hubba.
posted by Blandwagon at 5:55 PM
4 Comments:
Ah. Night of the Blood Beast. Truly an excruciatingly awful film. I still wince at the memory!
I'm impressed that you're branching out into adding animated pictures, but could you please remove the one frame of black background that blinks in and out? It's annoying and detracts from the throbbing shrimps. :-)
I don't get the black background thing when I view the page in Explorer - maybe it's your browser. I bet you've got one of those la-di-da open source browsers which higher beings have declared superior in every way to Micro$oft productzzz. In which case, eat my photons, smallhead!
Actually, I'm pretty glad that I saw this on DVD before seeing the MST3K take on it. It's not a great movie, but I wonder whether folks would think it was so silly if Mike and the 'bots hadn't thought so first. Gotta love the long-winded exposition shot at the Bronson Caves where the alien speaks with the doctor's voice. "I've been a fool!"
I've generally found that the okay films make for funnier MST3Ks than the terrible films. They have a more coherent structure for the boys to hang their riffs on.
This is probably why MST3K did so many of Roger Corman's movies and so few of Ed Wood's.
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