Psycho

Ten Things I Learnt From Watching Alfred Hitchcock's 'Psycho'

1. A boy's best friend is his mother.

2. Women are lousy at buying second-hand cars.

3. Police psychologists are usually hammier than a bucket of bacon.

4. Never trust an old lady whose taste in interior design runs to having more cherubim per square foot than Heaven.

5. If sufficiently distracted by grief, younger sisters will stick their hands into a strange motel toilets without hesitation.

6. Instead of playing it cool and lulling him into a false sense of security, it's best to antagonise your deranged murder suspect and make him desperate and homicidal.

7. Sharing sandwiches with a creepy, unstable young man in an empty motel miles from anywhere can really help an attractive young woman understand where she's been going wrong in her life.

8. If you are in desperate need of cash, and a dirty old millionaire who is literally throwing money around flirts with you, treat him with disdain.

9. Women in 1960 could have sex without removing their heavy-duty underwear.

10. In 2005, it is impossible to hear Mrs Bates call out "Norman!" and not respond by calling out "Seymour!".