Stir

Earlier today I was reading MooCow's blog, and his mention of bumper stickers reminded me of how much I love to hate the "I [insert action or cause here] ... and I vote!" genre of rear bumper punditry.

If you've never seen them, one of the better examples is one my ex-brother-in-law used to have on the back of his car, saying something to the effect of "I own firearms... and I vote!"

Whether it was a simple statement of fact intended to lobby for shooters' rights, or a threat intended to make people think twice about cutting him off on the freeway wasn't really clear. Frankly with him, it could have gone either way.

I've occasionally thought about having some gag bumper stickers made, just to stir things up a bit. Some early drafts:

I club baby seals... and I vote!

I watch reality television... and I vote!

I love fluffy baby ducklings... and I vote!

The CIA is controlling my thoughts... and I vote!

I am the Angel of Death... and I vote!

I molest children... and I vote!

The last one is pretty sick and wrong, but it would make a great statement about the dangers of moral equivalency and the inherent stupidity of bumper sticker politicking. If it weren't for the pain I'd have to go through with people who didn't get it (church elders organising interventions, bumper sticker printer informing the police, strangers fire-bombing my car), I'd be tempted. I'm all about the stirring.