Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Shame

Last night I watched the last of my new MST3K DVDs; 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'. It was a horrible cheap 1964 children's movie, made with the money the director found under the sofa cushions, and featuring what was probably the cast of some local amateur theatre company. Even a solid layer of MST3K riffs barely made it tolerable.


Am I the only person who finds Santa kind of annoying? And I'm not just talking about his lack of road skills. All the chuckling and wobbling like a bowlful of jelly - nobody laughs that much unless they're covering something up. I suppose if I was part of a joyless molestation of Christmas tradition like this movie, I'd laugh to hide the hurt inside too.


voldar


And who smokes in a children's movie? Why not just snort cocaine off the body of a dead hooker while you're at it, Santa!


This picture also depicts the main villain of the piece; Voldar's fake moustache. It's from the 'Saddam Hussein Meets Cheap Carpet Sample' collection, and it gives the unfortunate impression that Voldar has just come from shooting "Naughty Martian Coeds VII" next door.


voldar2


No wonder he wants to kill the despicable Billy and Betty Foster. He's seen a better life. Sure, he'll suffer the low self-esteem, social stigma and innumerable diseases of a porn star, but at least it's better than working with child actors and jolly old elves while wearing plumbing supplies on your head.


Also the money's better, the sets and scripts aren't any worse, and 'wocka chicka wow wow' beats 'Hooray for Santy Claus' any day.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hot News From The Automotive Lending Industry!!

+++++++++Current Profile+++++++++
InterFinancial Holdings, Corp (IFLH)
Current Price $0.036
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Is this an undiscovered gem priced to go higher!!
Please read the following Announcement in its Entirety and Consider the Possibilities�
Watch this One to Trade!

IFLH announces Senator David Cain has joined its Board of Directors!!

IFLH volume trading is beginning to surge with landslide Announcement. The value of this
stock appears poised for growth! This one should not remain on the ground floor for long.

BREAKING NEWS!!
InterFinancial Holdings, Corp. (OTC Pink Sheets: IFLH - News) announced that they have added
David Cain to their board of directors. David Cain is currently the Chairman of the advisory
board to TTI (Texas Transportation Institute). Senator Cain represented Senate District 2 for
eight years in the Texas Senate and Chaired the Senate State Affairs Subcommittee on
Transportation and served nine terms in the Texas House of Representatives for District 107.

During his twelve years as Chairman of the House Committee on Transportation, Senator Cain�s
efforts on behalf of the people of Texas have been widely recognized. He was named to Texas
Monthly Magazine�s list of Ten Best Legislators, the Dallas Morning News said he was one of
the outstanding legislators of the 73rd session, and the Texas Department of Transportation
awarded him the Russell H. Perry Award in 1995 for his efforts to gain public awareness of
the need for and benefits of transportation facilities in the State of Texas.

Jeffrey C. Bruteyn, Managing Director, stated, We at InterFinancial are proud to have such a
widely recognized Senator join our board and oversee out automotive lending division. His
affiliations and connections to the automotive industry will be invaluable to our company.
Senator Cain will be instrumental in expediting our approval to use a government issued Seller
Finance License.

Seller Finance Licenses are very difficult to obtain and are usually reserved for the Big Boys
with heavy lobbyists. These licenses are highly coveted because it allows the finance company
to collect the entire down payment, instead of paying a portion of it to the taxing authority.
This dramatically helps a finance company�s bottom line if the buyer defaults on the loan.

With the new GPS tracking systems being installed on every car to dramatically improve
repossessions and with Senator Cain on the Board of Directors, InterFinancial Holdings
is ready to take their business to the next level.

Conclusion:

The examples above show the Awesome, Earning Potential of little known Companies
That Explode onto Investor�s Radar Screens. This stock will not be a Secret for long.
Then You May Feel the Desire to Act Right Now! And Please Watch This One Trade!!
GO IFLH!

All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such. We may own,
take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or
involve discussions with respect to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans,
projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are not statements of
historical fact and may be "forward looking statements." Forward looking statements are based
on expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a
number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results or events to differ materially
from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid four thousand dollars from a party
(IR Marketing). Forward looking statements in this action may be identified through the use of
words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Section 17(.b), we disclose
the holding of IF LH shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent
conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation
of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made
regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in
our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance
on forward-looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving
various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to differ materially from those set forth
in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is
for informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial
advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high
risk and you can lose your entire investment.

12:26 AM  
Blogger phaedrus said...

It seems to me that's some comment spam, but it also seems to me that it's a little long. I hope you posted it as a red herring.

It don't remember the specifics of the skit in this episode, something about Tom singing or reading an essay about Santa's reindeer dying horrible deaths -- whatever it was, it had me laughing so hard I couldn't breath.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

I knew it was only a matter of time before the comment spam found me. It was like hiding under the floorboards in the Warsaw Ghetto listening to the Nazi boots thumping about overhead.

And now, to continue the metaphor, my blog is off to the gas chambers. Excuse me while I weep.

12:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home