ROAR
I went for a lengthy bike ride with The Flatmate tonight. He’s a super fit bike junkie, I’m trying to lose weight, and he has two bikes, so it works out for both of us if we can go out for a ride in the long summer evenings. He’s been letting me ride his astonishingly expensive mountain bike, which is a lot more comfortable to ride than his racer, even if it’s slower. I’ve also been wearing his spare heart monitor, which wirelessly transmits my heart rate and calorie consumption to a little screen on my wrist. According to it, tonight’s 24km ride used up more than a thousand calories… so its value as exercise can’t be overstated.
However I think that The Flatmate gets a little frustrated at my cycling style, partly because I’m an overly cautious noob, and partly because I have some odd little foibles. For example, I resist changing gears. When I find a good strong gear I like to stick with it, even if it means pushing hard to go up a hill or pedaling faster than is strictly necessary going downhill. Why? Well, this conversation from the middle of our ride may explain it somewhat…
Me: I managed to hit 177bpm on that hill back there. It wiped me out, though.
The Flatmate: Did you use the gears?
Me: No.
The Flatmate: You realise that’s what the gears are for, don’t you? To make the ride easier?
Me: I don’t want the ride to be easier. I like the challenge of using one gear. I gives me a chance to demonstrate my RAW MANLINESS.
(The Flatmate suddenly veers off onto the other side of the road)
Me: What, are you threatened by my RAW MANLINESS?
The Flatmate: Yeah. That’s it.
And then later…
Me: Did you hear that old man yell at me to slow down?
The Flatmate: No. When was that?
Me: Back on the Mt Pleasant esplanade. I was fanging it and I decided not to slow down for a blind corner, so of course that was the one time that someone was coming in the opposite direction.
The Flatmate: Did you nearly hit him?
Me: No, not at all. I think he was just intimidated by my RAW MANLINESS.
The Flatmate: Unbelievable.
I believe that The Flatmate is simply jealous.
However I think that The Flatmate gets a little frustrated at my cycling style, partly because I’m an overly cautious noob, and partly because I have some odd little foibles. For example, I resist changing gears. When I find a good strong gear I like to stick with it, even if it means pushing hard to go up a hill or pedaling faster than is strictly necessary going downhill. Why? Well, this conversation from the middle of our ride may explain it somewhat…
Me: I managed to hit 177bpm on that hill back there. It wiped me out, though.
The Flatmate: Did you use the gears?
Me: No.
The Flatmate: You realise that’s what the gears are for, don’t you? To make the ride easier?
Me: I don’t want the ride to be easier. I like the challenge of using one gear. I gives me a chance to demonstrate my RAW MANLINESS.
(The Flatmate suddenly veers off onto the other side of the road)
Me: What, are you threatened by my RAW MANLINESS?
The Flatmate: Yeah. That’s it.
And then later…
Me: Did you hear that old man yell at me to slow down?
The Flatmate: No. When was that?
Me: Back on the Mt Pleasant esplanade. I was fanging it and I decided not to slow down for a blind corner, so of course that was the one time that someone was coming in the opposite direction.
The Flatmate: Did you nearly hit him?
Me: No, not at all. I think he was just intimidated by my RAW MANLINESS.
The Flatmate: Unbelievable.
I believe that The Flatmate is simply jealous.
posted by Blandwagon at 10:32 PM
4 Comments:
I know I am. I'd cook it though, or at least marinade it in lemon juice.
The only true MANLINESS is RAW MANLINESS. Although a lemon juice marinade is tempting, especially if we add some minced ginger and perhaps just a pinch of tumeric.
Whew! Did you find yourself followed by a throng of female cyclists? And does RAW MANLINESS involve cycling with your top off? If not, what sort of MANLINESS would that be?
I hope flatmate was well ahead so he wasn't drowned in your trail of raw manliness juices. I am with you on the gears thing. I don't get that the fitter and better cyclists become, the better bikes they get to make the ride easier. Isn't the point exercise? Besides, I've had too many chains come off while trying to change gear, so I'd rather change effort! Jaymez
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