Tuesday, November 11, 2008


On Friday night the crowd who attended the Get on the Blandwagon! Blogmeet Dinner reconvened for a second night of food and fun and a conspicuous absense of blogging talk*. Well, that was the plan, anyway. The Blandwagon Reciprocal Blogmeet Dinner was held at the home of An9ie's friend Kim, and although I had high hopes for the evening, I'm forced to tell you that they were cruelly dashed. Never have I attended a dinner party which took my needs and comfort and threw them out the window... without making sure that the window was open first.

For a start, An9ie asked me to bring wine and forbad me from bringing any hobos. Hello? Where do you think I get all my wine, woman? I'm not in the habit of paying outrageous bottle shop prices for something I can wrest out of the hands of a semi-comatose wino! Some of us are on a budget, you know.

Then once I actually got to the party, it just went further downhill. Kim created his menu with a callous disregard for my waistline. He served up individual prawn and mushroom pizzas for entree, then compounded his fiendishness with a tagliatelle with scallops in a cream and lemon sauce, served on a bed of fresh rocket with oven-roasted vegetables. Then for dessert, squid icecream.

Not really, although that would have been the right thing to do. Instead we had to settle for chocolate panna cotta with mixed berries. I for one was outraged - is it too much to ask for a host to choose a seafood theme and then stick with it?

Then I had to endure hour upon hour of hilarious conversation, which is terrible for the digestion. It's also the height of bad manners to require a person to keep up with gales of witty banter, instead of just allowing him to slump into a brain-dead stupor.

And finally, to cap off this total disaster, there was one hopeless lump of a dinner guest at the end of the evening who just wouldn't leave despite numerous hints, mumbling about having too much fun, and being too full of good wine and food, and enjoying too much the frequent lapses of conversational good taste.

Oh, wait a minute. Now I remember. That was me.

Disregard everything I've just said.

* all except TroyG, who was receiving the Nobel Prize for Attempted Chemistry that night and couldn't make it.


Anonymous TroyG said...

Yes, I was attempting to tranfer the phone number of a cute blonde from her mind to my mobile via her mouth and my fingers.

I love biological chemistry.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was feeling a bit crook when I arrived (late) for the dinner, but the great food and company picked me up and I managed to even enjoy a sip of the Yerings dessert wine with that embarrasing panna cotta you mentioned. Jaymez

7:56 PM  

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