Friday, December 07, 2007

Tertiary

Well, it's my three year blogiversary today. As is traditional on anniversaries, it's time to reflect on the way things have progressed over the past year.


Possibly the most interesting feedback I've received occurred less than a week ago. I was talking to an acquaintance at a party, and we had the following exchange:


Her: I've enjoyed reading your blog when I get the chance.

Me: (Sweet merciful crap! You read my blog? How did you even know about it? Who else reads it that I don't know about? What stupid things have I said recently? I'm not ready to confront this! GAAAAAAAH!) Oh, thanks.

Her: I must say you're a lot different in the flesh than you are on the blog.

Me: I am?

Her: Yes. Just sitting here right how you seem very happy and relaxed.

Me: (chokes on champagne)


So there you have it - apparently I'm coming across as an angry, tightly-wound maniac. Of course in many ways I am an angry, tightly-wound maniac, but more often I'm a happy, relaxed person. It's just that angry, tightly-wound mania is usually far more interesting to read than "Whatever, dude, it's all good". Sean Penn would not have a career if this were not the case.


Thus I have chosen to celebrate the most recent Blandwagial year with a little list I like to call...


Blandwagon - A Year in Bile


Over the last twelve months I've indulged in over-the-top rants about the Apple corporation, shoddily-built exercise equipment, my new mobile phone, bad drivers, 50 Things To Do Before You Die lists, streetlamps that try to kill me, laundries, Englishmen, the Art Gallery of Western Australia, The Chorus of Women, people who dress their children as Satan, bad interior design and, of course, Facebook.


I also said some nice things, but frankly I can't remember what they were.


Fortunately, according to The Get On The Blandwagon! Modern Blogiversary Gifts List, the appropriate gift this year is 'sugar'. And when you think about it, sugar will solve all of my problems. Either I'll be too buzzed to care about life's little travesties, too fat and pimply for anyone else to care what I think, or too dead from diabetic shock. Whatever, dude, it's all good.

5 Comments:

Blogger emawkc said...

I'm thinking about doing a rant against bloggers who celebrate their "blogiversaries" on their blogs.

Gads those people are annoying!

11:42 PM  
Anonymous TroyG said...

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, heeheeheeheeheeheehee.

If being a tightly-wound maniac means you continue to amuse us with all the dry wit of a Martini oasis in the Sahara, I say get the crank and start winding.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

Emawkc, I can only assume that you are jealous that your own sugar blogiversary is still 6 months away. The delayed prospect of complimentary sugar can make even the best man bitter.

Also hmmm... martini oasis. Bring me an olive the size of a Daewoo!

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Acquaintance said...

I never said you were a tightly-wound maniac (that would have been incredibly rude). Only that, in real life, you have such a pleasant smile and it's hard to believe you'd be irritated by anything or anyone. But is Blandwagon the blogger a persona (as you claim) or is Blandwagon the partygoer a persona? It's all too complicated for me ;)

I'm loving the retro ad posts, btw.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

But is Blandwagon the blogger a persona (as you claim) or is Blandwagon the partygoer a persona?

I think the way to answer that question is to ask yourself, "When is a man more likely to show his true self - when he's had a few champagnes or when he's writing on the internet?"

8:41 AM  

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