Monday, December 11, 2006


On the first day of Blandmas my true love (which would be me) gave to me (which would be me also); a partridge in a pear tree a 1Gb iPod Shuffle.

I love my new iPod Shuffle. It's the size of a postage stamp and has a built-in clip, so I can just clip it to a pocket or the hem of my T-shirt. It holds hundreds of songs randomly hoovered up from my iTunes, which is enough for even my longest evening constitutional and my fussiest musical mood.

On the other hand, I hate the Apple Corporation. Hate hate hate. I want to cause Steve Jobs severe and unending pain.

Apple's designers are far too cool and groovy to bundle the appropriate software with their product, since a big ungainly CD-ROM would spoil their precious little fetishist packaging. The sap who buys the iPod needs to download the software, which, at over 50MB, takes about four and a half hours on dial-up access.

"Do people still have dial-up?" they would no doubt sniff. Well you know what, Apple? SCREW YOU!

Naturally the version of iTunes that came with my 20Gb iPod wouldn't support the new Shuffle, so I had to spend four and a half hours (and several dollars in excess bandwidth charges) downloading the latest version... which promptly refused to install. It even had to gall to instruct me to contact my 'technical support group' to help me fix the problem, which is the equivalent of phoning the automobile club when your car breaks down and having them tell you to get your chauffeur to fix it. I eventually had to call upon a computer-literate friend to wrestle the software into compliance.

Now it's working properly, except for the fact that it makes frequent suggestions that I change the USB port it uses, since the current one isn't a USB2 and as such it makes the data transfer, in the Shuffle's opinion, oh so intolerably slow. Well excuse me, your majesty, but you can use a USB1 and like it! Or if you prefer I can go dig out my old 486 and plug you into the thumb-sized printer port! Let's see how you like that!

Meanwhile, on the second day of Blandmas my true love gave to me; a load of laundry to do. My true love isn't made of money, you know.


Anonymous emo loving filly said...

You know, and you may well have been told this before, you really are bloody funny. If I was a melancholy young gothic filly, well, I wouldn't be able to type this with my big hoofs now, would I. Fillies are by definition young I suppose, sorry about that excess of description.

12:18 AM  

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