Monday, October 08, 2007


Sunday was my birthday, and to mark the occasion I hosted a celebratory brunch. I invited all of my friends and family over, then I cleared the cars out of the carport, brought all of the tables out of the house and put them in a row, covered them with tablecloths and then covered the tablecloths with food. I also brought out every chair in the house, the barbecue, and virtually everything in the kitchen that wasn’t bolted down.

Well, I say “I”, but thanks to my broken arm I had to arrange for my friend JC and The Flatmate to all the heavy lifting… and the tablecloth laying, fruit cutting, and chair cleaning. I ground the coffee beans and assiduously performed the important duties of demanding martinet project manager.

Everybody seemed to have a good time, and we feasted on bacon, eggs, toast, chipolatas, grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms, croissants, juice, coffee, fruit salad with yoghurt and toasted pine nuts, three kinds of muffins and, in keeping with The Simpsons' definition of brunch*, fresh rockmelon. Oh, and champagne. It just isn't brunch without champagne.

Which is sort of odd, when you think about it. No one would consider holding a brunch and dumping a bottle of, say, merlot on the table. Why does champagne get a "Get Drunk in the Morning Without Social Opprobrium" card? I think we need to refine this further. Catering would be so much easier if I could simply hand each guest a box of crackers and a bottle of Jack Daniels and tell them to go crazy.

As usual I over-catered, so I have the prospect of eating leftovers for the rest of the week. Breakfast this morning was leftover fruit salad. For lunch I had croissants with Vegemite, which is the sort of culinary faux pas that would make your average patriotic Frenchman shudder like a cheap Korean car going over a cattle grid. Dinner consisted of leftover chipolatas with a salad of leftover grilled tomatoes, leftover fried mushrooms and salad greens from the garden, with leftover yoghurt for dessert.

If I make it to the end of the week without dying of cholesterol poisoning, I can celebrate with the single remaining bottle of champagne.

* "It’s not quite breakfast, it’s not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end."


Blogger Iris Flavia said...

Have a Happy-Birthday-Week then :-)
Vegemite with croissants makes not only a Frenchman shudder, though ;-)

6:08 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

Ah, Vegemite: it's what sets Australians apart from the rest of the world.

Whether that makes it a good thing or a bad thing largely depends on your point of view.

10:17 PM  
Blogger Iris Flavia said...

Well :-) Last year in Oktober/November there was the rumor I somehow stumbled upon: The US ban Vegemite and heaps of Australians living there would protest. More somehow my colleague caught me wondering and asked what Vegemite would be. He got so curious, he ordered it via e-bay.

We gave it a big go, me bringing the bread and marge, he the Vegemite.

What did you get?! Is it expired?! (ummm... kinda a very little "YUCK!" here to insert).
I went to Perth in December and certainly bought a glass of Vegemite.
Ummm. I got also Vegemite-breakfast-portions from Mc Donalds for my colleague and whilst asking for it, I accidentally started a huge debate on Vegemite (some "Poms" were involved and went for Marmite [both unknown here in Germany]).

Well. I tried it here (I took it home) with onion-bread, amongst other sorts of bread, and that seemed to work. A bit. Like... as non-Aussie you can get it down ;-)

I do think you have to grow up with it. Or maybe scientists will discover a Vegemite/Marmite-gene soon!

Defenitively sets you guys apart from the rest of the world :-) And in a nice way, somehow, too ;-)

If you come here before... OH NO! I looked it up! Best before 07 OCT 07?! I only bought it December last year! What´s in there?!

4:35 AM  
Blogger Laziest Girl said...

Happy belated birthday Blandy. See if you were still on Facebook I could have sung Happy Birthday to you on the voicemail application! And I happen to have a superb singing voice. So I'll sing now and you listen really carefully - I'm sure you'll be able to hear me from there.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

You know, Laziest Girl, you could just record a .wav file of your singing and email it to me.

Of course then you wouldn't get your THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER from your Facebook masters, would you! I see through your little game.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous fishgosquish_gill said...


I'm so sorry I missed your brunch, it sounds absolutely fantastic! I am glad you had a great time though and hope you had a super birthday!

10:22 AM  

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