Friday, June 22, 2007



Well, thank goodness that's over. Another rousing rendition of the CIA Company Song ("Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers, appropriately enough, but those bastards insisted on playing the David Hasselhoff version) and I'd have garrotted myself with the monitor cable.

The monitor was removed, but further to the CIA's plans for Blandwagian domination I also had to undergo an EEG (electroencephalogram) yesterday. This basically consisted of having my skull measured, getting a multitude of tiny sensors glued to my scalp, and being forced to open and close my eyes, breathe at different rates, and watch light flickering at varying cycles for half an hour. Sheesh! All it needed was some orange overalls and a serving of mustard dill baked fish and I could have been in Guantanamo Bay!

At the end of my scan the technician allowed me to see my results... which were basically a dozen vaguely wavy lines on a screen.

"So is this good?" I asked.

"It's looks pretty normal," she replied with a shrug.

"It doesn't look like my brain was doing much."

"Let me show you something," she said, and she called up another file. This once had jagged, chaotic lines lurching almost at random across the screen.

"Hey, this one's much more exciting!" I said.

"Trust me, you don't want one that looks like this," she said, with a sad little sigh. "This was not a well brain."

So if nothing else, I learnt that having an Action Brain = Bad News. I always suspected as much.


Anonymous Troy said...

One of my other blogmates(Nunaka) just put up a post saying how much she enjoyed honey mustard and dill with her fish. How apropos. Although I don't think orange is her colour, and she lives in Alaska.

9:14 AM  

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