Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Sicko (Addendum)

As many of you will know, I had a recent unforeseen stay in hospital. They finally let me out after three days, but as part of the conditions for releasing me, the hospital insisted that I undergo two further tests as an outpatient. The first of these was the fitting of a Holter monitor for 24 hours, which I had done earlier today.

The monitor itself is slightly larger and heavier than a pack of cards, and it sits in a little protective case in my pocket. A heavy cable comes out of it and splits into seven colour-coded wires, which snake up through the front of my shirt and attach to seven sensors on my chest. The machine measures... er... something heart-ish. To be honest they didn't really discuss it with me, and I didn't receive a pamphlet with a title like "So You're Hooked Up to a Giant Music-less iPod For Reasons That Haven't Been Adequately Explained". All the monitor itself tells me is the current time and date, with a countdown to its removal. Frankly it could be doing anything. Maybe it's a secret CIA surveillance device... although traditionally their technology has been a little less obtrusive than this.

Still, one can't be too careful. If my posts suddenly start extolling the virtues of conformity and obedience to the goverment, take them with a grain of salt.

23 hours, 25 minutes and 32 seconds to go.


Anonymous be.bart said...

It's called a time-bomb. Cut the red wire if you want to live!

6:24 PM  
Anonymous be.bart said...

No wait! It's the green one!

6:25 PM  

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