Knowledge

Here's what you're supposed to do... and please do not spoil the fun.


Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little-known facts about those who know you, like who slept with Jan from Payroll, and where the bodies are stashed .


FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE A SPARE MINUTE OR NEED A BREAK FROM WORK!!!


A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Personal Reality Assistant to Tom Cruise (fired).
2. Anal Probee on alien spacecraft 967-A (outsourced).
3. Mighty Emperor of the Atom People (deposed).
4. MST3K shill (current).


B) Four movies you would watch over and over:

1. Ethan Frome: The Musical!
2. Apocalypse Now, performed by squirrels, field mice and other small woodland creatures.
3. Anything with Uma Thurman before she got all thingy about screen nudity.
4. The Make-out King of Montana.


C) Four places you have lived besides where you live now:

1. In a womb.
2. Above Mr and Mrs Cunningham's garage.
3. Inside your walls.
4. In ancient Carpathia, where I was a humble blacksmith married to Shirley Maclaine.


D) Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. That one with that guy.
2. That other one with that guy, who used to be on that show.
3. That other one with that guy, who used to be on that show, except this one is in Miami.
4. That one with a guy and some robots in space watching bad movies. I can't remember what it's called.


E) Four places you have been on vacation:

1. Funkytown.
2. Paradise, but oddly enough I've never been to me.
3. Rio, but only when my baby smiles at me.
4. Melbourne.


F) Four websites I visit daily/most:

1. Get on the Bandwagon!: A Get on the Blandwagon! tribute site
2. The Daily Cos (warning NSFW lettuce porn)
3. tepidmail.com: the free email for people who think 'hotmail' sounds a little too risque
4. Charlene Ann Burlap's OMG ORLANDO BLOOM IS TOTALLY HOTT Totally Bitchin' Cool LOL Blog!!!1!


G) Four of my favourite foods:

1. Anything that tastes like chicken.
2. Spiced basalt
3. Stem cells
4. Sugar-coated lies


H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. In a movie with Uma Thurman before she got all thingy about screen nudity.
2. With Kraxor, the only being who ever truly understood me, back on spacecraft 967-A.
3. At Adam Sandler's house, hitting him about the head with a copy of 'Click'.
4. In Narnia, providing they still have that All-You-Can-Eat Turkish Delight place.


I) Four friends I think will respond:

1. Chip Rockett, Space Pilot of Tomorrow
2. Notorious G.E.R.A.L.D.
3. Puffy, the Anti-Obesity Panda
4. Former US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright


RETURN DIRECTIONS: Now, here's what you're supposed to do... and please do not spoil the fun. Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then delete the email, clear your cache, set fire to your computer and flee the country. The theory is that you will learn a lot of interesting new facts about your friends if they're not beating you to a bloody pulp.