Sleep

Following the Cavalcade of Little Kids Singing Like Flayed Piglets (sorry, can't help myself), I went to TK's party over in Shenton Park. It was a relaxed, casual, sit-around-a-glowing-brazier-getting-smoked-like-a-Norwegian-salmon affair.

The high point was the revelation that TK suffers from SSA (Sleep Social Administration) Syndrome. He gets out of bed in the early hours of the morning, fast asleep, and calls people to arrange his social calendar. We were given a voicemail message, recorded at 1.30am, as proof. TK sounds a bit slurred, but otherwise perfectly coherent.

The other party guests laughed, but I was impressed by TK's innovative take on multi-tasking. Why waste eight hours a night doing nothing but sleeping when you could concurrently organise yourself for the busy Christmas party season? I say take it further - imagine the looks on your flatmates' faces when they wake in the morning and find the gas bill paid, the dishwasher unpacked, the Hills Hoist restrung and an angry letter decrying the lack of public housing for the underprivileged sent off to your local Member of Parliament on their behalf! It'd be a time-saving boon!

Sometimes I wonder why no one seems to appreciate my genius and insight.