Monday, June 25, 2007


When it comes to manly movies, you can’t get much manlier than Mad Max II. It’s core narrative - a lone warrior fighting overwhelming odds and not being overwhelmed, but instead opening a can of whelm-ass himself – is the basis for all of the great action stories, from Beowulf to Rambo.

So given that it’s such an icon of masculinity, why are the villains in Mad Max II so, well, gay?

I don’t mean gay in the ‘lame’ sense. I mean literally. Mad Max is basically fighting a large group of men who are gayer than the target audience for a performance of ‘Mama Mia’ in which Kylie Minogue, Sarah Jessica Parker and Megan Mullally play the lead roles, and at which free Cosmopolitans and DVDs of ‘Brokeback Mountain’ are given away during the interval.

Don’t believe me? Let us review the evidence.

Exhibit A – Lord Humungous

Our chief villain is a fully waxed, steroid-abusing Swede in a metal gimp mask and a studded leather bondage harness, with a name that wouldn’t look out of place in the credits of a fantasy-themed gay porno. You do the math.

Exhibit B – Wez

Wez, Humungous’ second banana, wears eyeliner and backless chaps and rides around on a motorcycle with a skinny blonde twink riding pillion. There’s no subtext here; the character is explicitly homosexual, and apparently acting out his feelings against an oppressive homophobic society by screaming a lot and slitting throats. If only he’d channelled his negative energies into floristry.

Exhibit C – Pink Guy

Before he meets the business end of a flamethrower, Pink Guy drives around in a customised hot pink muscle car. That might not be too bad, but he’s dyed his beard hot pink to match the car! He looks like a flamboyant, drag-racing Santa.

Exhibit D – Police Guy

Police Guy gets around in a scavenged police cruiser, and appropriately enough has costumed himself in aviator glasses, a silver helmet and cut down leathers. Remind you of anyone?

How exactly is it, I wonder, that such a bunch of flamers came to be the Scary Army of the Apocalypse in this scenario? My own theory is that they were a Gay Pride parade that took a wrong turn during the collapse of civilisation, ran out of road and then turned feral. That would certainly explain the preponderance of motorcycles (basically dykes on bikes, minus the dykes) and the outlandish vehicles (stripped down parade floats, I suspect). I’d bet good money that if you carefully examined the scenes left on the cutting room floor, you’d see a faded rainbow sticker on the back of Humungous’ car, and an old Barbara Streisand CD in his glovebox.


Blogger Jege (Jen) said...


9:16 PM  
Blogger Slimbolala said...

Jeezum, utterly hilarious and absolutely true.

(And for whatever it's worth, I was born and spent the first two years of my life in Perth. Wish I could say I remembered it.)

2:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I fully Agree. I was recording "Rush Hour" on long play one night....I just hit record and left it running....and this film was on after it.

I decided to take a look at it and I just found the villians so damn homosexual and hillarious....They dont seem scary to me, I'd actually laugh in their faces if they attacked me....True, I'd get killed, but I'd Die with a arrogant smile on my face.

The Hummungus just doesnt seem intimidating, he looks more like some gay bondage Gimp.

Wez looks even more gay than a gym teacher on shore leave, and his fag partner just makes me cringe.

By the way, the Pink guy is part of the Humungus's "Smegma" men, and the police looking guy is part of the "Gayboys" men.....Smeg is the white crap you find under your foreskin, and gayboy...well, the name says it all.

So yes, The humungus's men are ALL gay....even the way they captured those two men and tied them to the front of the humungus's car, it seemed like something out of a gay porno.

Sorry, but Mad Max 2 was a fight between survivors and psychotic openly gay fags.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The Hummungus just doesnt seem intimidating"

Well, if you had an ounce of empathy, maybe Lord Humongous earned that name for a reason. If you were in that word, he would be riding your male asshole till you bled to death on the open road..... a la the rape scene in RW2. Seems intimidating to me!

But I digress. The first move, Mad Max also had this theme. However Mad Max 3 chickened out and I suspect the forth "cumming" MM4 Fury Road will bow out as well. I mean, after in 2010, being gay is cool, straight, not.

Maybe they will have a dude with a girl on the back of his cycle this time? We can watch all the male Owl City listeners gasp in horror!

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol lol lOl oh so true. But you must admit they are all a bunch of faggots

6:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lots of homophobic subtext in the first mad max (homosexuals literally destroying the hetero family). mad max 2 takes it way over the top.

5:41 AM  

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