Uffizi
My other priority for my journey to Florence was to visit the Uffizi, one of the world’s most important art galleries. It’s been an art gallery since the 1500s, and a public art gallery since 1765. It contains the best collection of Renaissance art on the planet, as well as a vast amount of Roman statuary.
It’s fascinating to track the development of art technique from the primitive, two-dimensional figures of the 13th and 14th centuries to the sophisticated, naturalistic depictions of the 16th and 17th centuries. Or at least it’s fascinating for the first two or three hours. Then you realise that you’re still only on the first floor of the museum and not even halfway through the collection. Your brain is mush, your eyes have trouble focusing, and you’re feeling completely overwhelmed by the full weight of Western Civilisation. Before you know it, you’re thinking, ‘Yes, yes, another priceless 2000 year old bust of the Emperor Octavius… where can I get a beer around here?’
The other way to cope, of course, is to continue the game of making up new names for the artworks.
Perseus Slaying Wallace Shawn, Piero di Lorenzo 1510
Breakfast with the Side-Eye Family, Giovanni del Biondo, 1370
Who Wants Melons?, Battista Dossi, 1540
I’ve Got a Guitar. Chicks Dig Guitars, Giulio Campi, 1530
How The Hell Did You Get Into My House?, Matthias Stomer, 1635
Little Girl Puking Into Her Toybox After Eating Too Much Halloween Candy, Tiziano Vecellio, 1538
Keanu Reeves Is Totally Done With This Photo Shoot, Il Parmigianino, 1530
Measuring Up, Luca Signorelli, 1490
Aporko, The God of Bacon, Artist Unknown, 2nd Century
Janice, The Angel of Affront, Hans Memling, 1480
When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window… Which The Devil Promptly Vandalises, Niccolò di Pietro, 1415
Demons Unable to Sleep With All of This Damn Chanting Going On, Giovanni Del Biondo, 1365
I’m Not Wearing Any Pants, Giovan Battista Moroni, 1560
It’s fascinating to track the development of art technique from the primitive, two-dimensional figures of the 13th and 14th centuries to the sophisticated, naturalistic depictions of the 16th and 17th centuries. Or at least it’s fascinating for the first two or three hours. Then you realise that you’re still only on the first floor of the museum and not even halfway through the collection. Your brain is mush, your eyes have trouble focusing, and you’re feeling completely overwhelmed by the full weight of Western Civilisation. Before you know it, you’re thinking, ‘Yes, yes, another priceless 2000 year old bust of the Emperor Octavius… where can I get a beer around here?’
The other way to cope, of course, is to continue the game of making up new names for the artworks.
Perseus Slaying Wallace Shawn, Piero di Lorenzo 1510
Breakfast with the Side-Eye Family, Giovanni del Biondo, 1370
Who Wants Melons?, Battista Dossi, 1540
I’ve Got a Guitar. Chicks Dig Guitars, Giulio Campi, 1530
How The Hell Did You Get Into My House?, Matthias Stomer, 1635
Little Girl Puking Into Her Toybox After Eating Too Much Halloween Candy, Tiziano Vecellio, 1538
Keanu Reeves Is Totally Done With This Photo Shoot, Il Parmigianino, 1530
Measuring Up, Luca Signorelli, 1490
Aporko, The God of Bacon, Artist Unknown, 2nd Century
Janice, The Angel of Affront, Hans Memling, 1480
When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window… Which The Devil Promptly Vandalises, Niccolò di Pietro, 1415
Demons Unable to Sleep With All of This Damn Chanting Going On, Giovanni Del Biondo, 1365
I’m Not Wearing Any Pants, Giovan Battista Moroni, 1560
posted by Blandwagon at 10:30 PM
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