Capri
Today we went to the Isle of Capri. Capri is where the wealthy and influential of Europe and America come to play and to be seen. As such, this means that Capri is full of idiots.
We arrived by ferry from Amalfi, and it occurred to me that the sea floor in front of Amalfi, Positano and Capri is probably littered with drowned iPhones, given the number of people who were waving them about in the jostling crowd trying to snap pictures of the towns.
The island of Capri itself is stunning. Raw limestone cliffs form natural archways and grottos, and sea birds wheel above the vivid turquoise of the Mediterranean.
Wedged in between these magnificent cliffs and rockfaces, however, is a town that sells extremely expensive things to extremely awful people.
Bitchy French teenagers flounce and sulk and desperately pretend that they aren’t clinging to every single social cue from the equally insecure teenagers around them. Korean women snap instructions at their hapless boyfriends about how to stand and how to arrange their faces as they take their selfies. American frat boys in pastel shorts revel in the fact that they can legally drink here and become obnoxious on one bottle of Heineken. Chavs in ridiculous clubwear at 11am do duckface at each other’s phones in front of gorgeous panoramic views.
We lingered in town just long enough to drink the single most expensive cup of coffee I’ve ever consumed - $12 for a long black – before fleeing for Capri’s less contrived attractions. There are long walks in the mountains, offering vantage points for dizzying and awesome views over the sea.
There are also natural features like the Arco Naturale, a huge natural arch that was left behind from an ancient collapsed grotto.
It would have been nice to spend more time exploring the wild natural beauty of Capri, but our legs were screaming from all of the stairs and climbing, and the ferries operate on very strict and limited timetables, so we bid farewell to the sneering Russian trophy mistresses and appalling Fauxdashians and headed home to Amalfi, where middle class awful tourists beat upper class awful tourists any day.
We arrived by ferry from Amalfi, and it occurred to me that the sea floor in front of Amalfi, Positano and Capri is probably littered with drowned iPhones, given the number of people who were waving them about in the jostling crowd trying to snap pictures of the towns.
The island of Capri itself is stunning. Raw limestone cliffs form natural archways and grottos, and sea birds wheel above the vivid turquoise of the Mediterranean.
Wedged in between these magnificent cliffs and rockfaces, however, is a town that sells extremely expensive things to extremely awful people.
Bitchy French teenagers flounce and sulk and desperately pretend that they aren’t clinging to every single social cue from the equally insecure teenagers around them. Korean women snap instructions at their hapless boyfriends about how to stand and how to arrange their faces as they take their selfies. American frat boys in pastel shorts revel in the fact that they can legally drink here and become obnoxious on one bottle of Heineken. Chavs in ridiculous clubwear at 11am do duckface at each other’s phones in front of gorgeous panoramic views.
We lingered in town just long enough to drink the single most expensive cup of coffee I’ve ever consumed - $12 for a long black – before fleeing for Capri’s less contrived attractions. There are long walks in the mountains, offering vantage points for dizzying and awesome views over the sea.
There are also natural features like the Arco Naturale, a huge natural arch that was left behind from an ancient collapsed grotto.
It would have been nice to spend more time exploring the wild natural beauty of Capri, but our legs were screaming from all of the stairs and climbing, and the ferries operate on very strict and limited timetables, so we bid farewell to the sneering Russian trophy mistresses and appalling Fauxdashians and headed home to Amalfi, where middle class awful tourists beat upper class awful tourists any day.
posted by Blandwagon at 11:00 PM
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