Monday, October 13, 2008


The Bible teaches us that the Devil sometimes presents himself as an angel of light, and the inestimable Sara at It's Lovely! I'll Take It! demonstrates that real estate does the same thing.

From the outside, it looks like a nice house. Calm. Genteel. Restrained.

Inside, however, all Hell breaks loose... or at least its minions. I have seen Evil, and its form is pastel-coloured and fluffy.

They watch you as you sit.

They watch you as you eat.

They wait patiently for the day when the baby comes, yearning to tear out and devour its soul.

Fortunately I doubt that that day will ever come. This house is a stronger prophylactic than all the condoms in the world.


Anonymous tara said...


12:38 PM  
Blogger an9ie said...

Brrrr! So. Many. Eyes.

12:45 PM  
Blogger TimT said...

If you go into the house today
You're in for a big surprise -
You'll find the demons having a picnic,
Right before your eyes...

They tear and rend and chew and munch
Upon your bones their teeth go crunch
They'll gulp you up for breakfast and lunch
Because today is that terrible day
When the demons have their piiiiicnic!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

It just occured to me that Elvis sang a song called "Teddy Bear" and another song called "Devil in Disguise".

Was this really a coincidence?

Or was Elvis trying to tell us something? Had Elvis been to this house and experienced the evil within?

Find out in my new book, "Elvis Presley: His Secret Life As A Demon Slayer", $59.95 at all good bookstores.

4:05 PM  

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