Yarrr!
Earlier today, as I passed by a newspaper open on the TV guide page, something caught my eye and made me turn back and look more closely.
It was a documentary called 'Piracy in the Straits'. The only thing is, my initial glance had read it as 'Piracy with the Stars'.
Well, fair enough. It's a logical extension of 'Dancing with the Stars' and 'Ice Skating with the Stars' and 'Circus with the Stars'. 'Piracy with the Stars' would no doubt involve a dozen network favourites dressed in ragged stripey pants and tricorn hats, with big gold earrings and stunt parrots, sailing around in an authentic reproduction Spanish galleon creating pirate mayhem. Each celebrity would be teamed with a genuine pirate and given a crash course in lootin', pillagin', rapin' and buryin' treasure, then sent out to terrorise the seven seas.
Memorable moments would include game show hostess Lavinia Nixon bursting into giggles when faced with the task of slitting her enemies' throats, ex-footballer Glen Jakovich genuinely losing an eye during a moment of boisterous swordplay, and TV handyman Scott Cam facing network discipline following his rendition of an extraordinarily lewd sea shanty during the crew's nightly rum ration.
Hell, I'd watch it. It certainly couldn't be any worse than 'Dancing with the Stars'.
It was a documentary called 'Piracy in the Straits'. The only thing is, my initial glance had read it as 'Piracy with the Stars'.
Well, fair enough. It's a logical extension of 'Dancing with the Stars' and 'Ice Skating with the Stars' and 'Circus with the Stars'. 'Piracy with the Stars' would no doubt involve a dozen network favourites dressed in ragged stripey pants and tricorn hats, with big gold earrings and stunt parrots, sailing around in an authentic reproduction Spanish galleon creating pirate mayhem. Each celebrity would be teamed with a genuine pirate and given a crash course in lootin', pillagin', rapin' and buryin' treasure, then sent out to terrorise the seven seas.
Memorable moments would include game show hostess Lavinia Nixon bursting into giggles when faced with the task of slitting her enemies' throats, ex-footballer Glen Jakovich genuinely losing an eye during a moment of boisterous swordplay, and TV handyman Scott Cam facing network discipline following his rendition of an extraordinarily lewd sea shanty during the crew's nightly rum ration.
Hell, I'd watch it. It certainly couldn't be any worse than 'Dancing with the Stars'.
posted by Blandwagon at 1:20 PM
4 Comments:
I have recently come across your blog (God, don't ask me from where as I can't remember.) Anyway, I have been an avid reader for several weeks now and am enjoying it. Took the Religion Quiz and am supposed to be Unitarian Universalist even if I am a devout Episcopalian. Oh well...the possibilities would be endless were I flighty enough to go to a service where even believing in a higher being...oops...Higher Being is not required.
Speaking of Pirates, I don't know if you are familiar with "Talk like a Pirate Day". It is the 19th of September and is a holiday where us men folks can "yarrr" and "ye matey" to our heart's content without fear of sounding silly. It was created by the American satirist Dave Berry. See: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
If you ever get the chance, check out my blog at:
http://joshuafarrier.blogspot.com/
All my best,
Joshua
"Piracy with the stars" would almost certainly have to star Peter SAAAAARSGAAAAARD. Yarr.
"Piracy with the Stars" would be a seriously cool show. I'm surprised no-one has thought of it sooner!
Soon reality TV will consist of every viewer sitting on their sofa with a TV camera on themselves. Watching. And after 15 minutes, they'll think, "this is completely stupid! What the hell am I wasting my time on this crap for?"
But they won't be able to move - just in case they miss something good.
Secretly... I'm hooked on "Dancing with the Stars". I only discovered it a few weeks ago. Its got Tina Sparkle!! I guess its to be expected though, I did actually pay to go to "Dirty Dancing - Live on Stage!"
Secretly... I'm hooked on "Dancing with the Stars". I only discovered it a few weeks ago. Its got Tina Sparkle!! I guess its to be expected though, I did actually pay to go to "Dirty Dancing - Live on Stage!"
You are so dead to me right now.
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