Monday, February 20, 2006


Ben Cousins, football player, local icon, alleged cokehead and over-privileged himbo, is in a spot of bother with the police and may actually be required to face some of the consequences of his dim-witted actions. Quelle horreur! Someone in the WA Police Force has obviously not been told of the ancient understanding that footballers, by virtue of being good at football, are above the law. What is the world coming to?

Personally I like to think that the reason why this isn't all being swept under the carpet, as these matters usually are, is because someone in the police has a well-developed aesthetic sense and has taken umbrage with Cousins' choice of vehicle.

He drives a gold Mercedes SUV. Read that again slowly. Gold. Mercedes. SUV.

gold mercedes SUV

A similar make and model, but not the Cuzmobile. The Cuzmobile looks like it's been on Pimp My Ride.

Perhaps Ben would have us believe that he didn't grow up in the leafy suburbs, attend an exclusive private school and lead a charmed WASP life. Perhaps he wants us to think that he's a poor dumb rapper from the ghetto, complete with a large bling-encrusted Mercedes, a posse of homies, and innumerable hos.

In which case, we should really be calling him B-Cuz. And if you have any spare snow lying around your crib, please send it to him. He probably needs it.


Blogger John said...

1. Everyone is demanding to know why he did a runner at a Booze bus. Demanding to know. They might as well demand to know where babies come from.

In fact, I think I'll do that right now; I DEMAND TO KNOW WHERE actually I've changed my mind; it's iditioc.

2. Why is it on the front page? I know lots of people are interested in football, but lots of people are interested in the digestive peoperties of bran too and we don't see that on the front page. AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY NOT! DEMAND TO KNOW!

10:45 PM  

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