Hello again my darlings!
It's Rose here *cough* *splutter*! Mr Baldwagon has kindly allowed me to use his 'blog' once more to write to all my fans, because I know you're all very concerned about me and my health. I appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers.
It's true; I am very sick at the moment. It's very distressing as it's keeping me from all my social engagements, portrait sittings and inconvenient court appearances. I barely have the energy to traipse down my marble staircase in a different outfit six or seven times a day!
Willie has been an absolute angel, taking care of me and putting up with my little moods (and hurled crockery). He is such a sweetie! I call him my 'darling little springbok'. He doesn't really have any pet names for me, although his did once call me his 'beard', which is very strange, because he's never liked facial hair. I don't understand, but then lately I been finding a lot of things confusing.
I tried to be proactive and prescribe myself some Prozac, since it's in all the magazines these days, but the stupid chemist won't fill it. He protests that prescriptions aren't usually issued on the backs of the pages of an expired chequebook, nor are they usually written out with an eyeliner pencil. Nor, apparently, is Prozac usually spelt with an 'e'.
Well how was I supposed to know all that? It wasn't even my idea to write the prescriptions in the first place! The poodles told me to do it, just after I took those blue pills I found in the downstairs bathroom medicine cabinet. They all agreed that it was the best course of action... except for Linus, who just wanted me to kill Sandra Sully and eat her skin. That Linus! He's always been the mischievous one!
I fear I may not be long for this world, my darlings. There's a black shadow hanging over the house, and for once it's not just this awful Melbourne weather or Gina spying on me from a hot air balloon. I fear that soon I'll be flying up to heaven, where once more I'll be alone... all alone.
Except for that nice Kerry Packer, of course. Hey, wait a moment. Since his wife Roslyn is still alive, that would make Kerry... available. Hmmm. Maybe this dark cloud of mortality could have a silver lining after all!
Farewell my darlings!
Rose Lacson-Hancock-Porteous-TBA
It's true; I am very sick at the moment. It's very distressing as it's keeping me from all my social engagements, portrait sittings and inconvenient court appearances. I barely have the energy to traipse down my marble staircase in a different outfit six or seven times a day!
Willie has been an absolute angel, taking care of me and putting up with my little moods (and hurled crockery). He is such a sweetie! I call him my 'darling little springbok'. He doesn't really have any pet names for me, although his did once call me his 'beard', which is very strange, because he's never liked facial hair. I don't understand, but then lately I been finding a lot of things confusing.
I tried to be proactive and prescribe myself some Prozac, since it's in all the magazines these days, but the stupid chemist won't fill it. He protests that prescriptions aren't usually issued on the backs of the pages of an expired chequebook, nor are they usually written out with an eyeliner pencil. Nor, apparently, is Prozac usually spelt with an 'e'.
Well how was I supposed to know all that? It wasn't even my idea to write the prescriptions in the first place! The poodles told me to do it, just after I took those blue pills I found in the downstairs bathroom medicine cabinet. They all agreed that it was the best course of action... except for Linus, who just wanted me to kill Sandra Sully and eat her skin. That Linus! He's always been the mischievous one!
I fear I may not be long for this world, my darlings. There's a black shadow hanging over the house, and for once it's not just this awful Melbourne weather or Gina spying on me from a hot air balloon. I fear that soon I'll be flying up to heaven, where once more I'll be alone... all alone.
Except for that nice Kerry Packer, of course. Hey, wait a moment. Since his wife Roslyn is still alive, that would make Kerry... available. Hmmm. Maybe this dark cloud of mortality could have a silver lining after all!
Farewell my darlings!
Rose Lacson-Hancock-Porteous-TBA
posted by Blandwagon at 5:49 PM
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