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Keeping with the philosophy of trying to wring as much high culture out of this shallow, trashy city, I started the day with a visit to The Broad, Los Angeles’ premier modern art museum. It’s not the largest museum in the city, but it has an absolutely top-notch collection including several significant works by Jeff Koontz, Andy Warhol, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Cy Twombly and Roy Lichtenstein.

After spending the whole morning of glorious LA weather inside, I spent the afternoon hiking up to the closest vantage point that Google could discern for photos of the Hollywood sign. It took more than an hour of steep uphill hiking, but it allowed me to finally get a shot of both The Nerd and The Sign in focus.

As the evening drew in we headed up to the Griffith Observatory, to look at the exhibits and take in the stunning view of the lights of Los Angles spread out below. The stars were dim and dull by comparison.

Then there was a quick detour back to the hotel to change out of sweat-stained athleticwear and into vintage cabana-wear, so as to properly fit in at the Tonga Hut in North Hollywood. Established in 1958, it’s the oldest tiki bar in LA. It came close to dying earlier this century, until a couple of farsighted hipsters bought it, stripped out a couple of decades of terrible “renovations”, and returned it to its full tiki glory. Most bars aren’t terribly interested in providing good renditions of the traditional tiki cocktails, so I made full use of this opportunity, with a classic mai tai. Then a painkiller. Then a pina colada. Then a certain amount of stumbling and incoherence.

The Nerd started out as supportive of my hobby, but became more aghast at my excesses as the evening wore on.