Monday, May 02, 2011


Sometimes it pays to be in the right place at the right time. On Saturday morning I rode my scooter down to my favourite cafe for a spot of breakfast, and when I went to park in the motorcycle bays opposite the cafe, I was unexpectedly treated to a sneak peak of an exciting new car. Behold the 2012 Jeep Bastard!

It's new, it's shiny, and it makes you feel as if you're the most important person in the world! And the versatile design of the Jeep Bastard allows you to park in spaces that are impossible for normal cars. It's going to be the biggest thing in hardcore urban adventuring since that really good sale at Louis Vuitton!

Plus there's another thing to bear in mind if you happen to see this particular Jeep Bastard (license plate 1DNF-157): if you snap off a windscreen wiper, aerial or piece of plastic trim, it showers you with candy!


Anonymous Junior said...

For your own safety you probably shouldn't snap anything off the Jeep Bastard. I'm pretty sure the "DNF" on the license plate stands for "Duke Nukem Forever", and the Duke wouldn't be happy if you damaged his vehicle.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

I'm pretty sure that Duke Nukem would have the largest possible Hummer (probably military spec, with a machine gun turret).

Not a convertible Jeep, which is, after all, the Gayest Car You Can Buy:

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Troy G said...

I'd try it if you said it played "Tubular Boobular Joy" every time you keyed the sides.

1:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home