Tuesday, December 07, 2010


'Tis the season to be jolly well astonished that another year of Get On The Blandwagon! has passed. I mean seriously, why? Why do I write it? Why do you read it? Why haven't I been hunted down and murdered by Leigh Sales or Tiger Woods or infuriated lesbians with long memories?

Oh well, their loss (and inability with IEDs) is my gain. Here we are at the 6th anniversary of Get On The Blandwagon!, celebrating six years of speaking truth to power, as long as "truth" is taken to mean "banging on about Lego, underorganised dinner parties and Ursula Andress' breasts" and "power" is taken to mean "a largely disinterested internet".

As usual, I like to take the opportunity of my blogiversary to look back over the last year and take stock of my achievements. This year it seems to have been primarily about pouring scorn on various organisations and individuals, which suggests that my ranting old crank gene is kicking in right on schedule. As such, I'd like to nominate the following list:

Top 10 People or Groups of People I Have Alienated Over the Last Twelve Months

10. Mormons

9. Chardonnay drinkers

8. Western Power

7. Diversity departments

6. The state police

5. The Prophet Mohammed

4. Eric Van Lustbader

3. Cory Doctorow

2. The Lillyman

and, by quite a significant margin...

1. People selling stuff on gumtree.com.au

According to the Get On The Blandwagon! Modern Blogiversary Gifts List, the sixth blogiversary is properly marked with gifts of iPod accessories. So get onto gumtree, people, and find me something stunning.


Blogger Mild Colonial Boy, Esq. said...

Didn't you also alienate people with that syndrome that they can't control their eating? I forget what it is called.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Mild Colonial Boy, Esq. said...

Sorry, that was actually a couple of years ago that you offended a parent of Prader-Willi Syndrome kid at


That was memorable.

7:30 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

Between that and the Milkd debacle, MCB, I wonder if maybe I'm losing my edge. Time was that I could generate outrage and hate mail. And yet have I had a single Islamic terrorist attack, a single disgruntled Mormon or a single peeved Cory Doctorow? No, I have not.

Something to aim for in Year 7, I guess.

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't stop writing, Blandy. You are the only thing that keeps me from going on a killing spree!

Oh, and why haven't you done one about people who wear CROCS?! They should all be punished. Severely.

5:38 PM  
Blogger phil said...

Were the pumpkin scones bland?

I love the WV: "welaxme."

I are, I assure youse.

6:15 PM  

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