Wednesday, January 20, 2010


While shopping the other day with my friend PM, I noticed that Lego has produced a new 'Toy Story' line. It seems an odd choice, since they'd be unable to reproduce any of the characters covered by external trademarks (like Mr Potatohead and the Etch-a-Sketch). It's also bizarre to see Lego versions of classic toys... there's something of a hall of mirrors effect in having toy versions of things that are already toys.

Lego produces movie tie ins for Batman, Spiderman, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Indiana Jones and a raft of other movies. Apparently these sell extremely well. This got PM and I thinking: what other movie tie ins could Lego be exploiting?

Top 10 Nonexistent But Absolutely Essential Lego Movie Tie Ins

10. Alien

It doesn't exist, but fortunately that never stopped the Internet:

The chestburster is okay, but I'd want the full grown version. Admit it, you can see the Alien minifig in your mind right now, and it's adorable.

9. Team America

Lots of vehicles, a few international landmarks to blow up, and a Michael Moore suicide bomber (with genuine exploding action!).

8. The Back to the Future trilogy

The first one I'd buy would be the little "I got me a Pitbull!" girl.

7. Casablanca

Especially if they did it all in black, grey and white bricks.

6. Alien v Predator

Double the alien killing machines, DOUBLE THE CUTENESS!

5. Frankenstein

You've got the potential for interesting building sets (the castle, the burning mill, the hermit's hut, etc) and distinctive minifigs. Extra points if there's a little Bride of Frankenstein.

4. The Wizard of Oz

Comes with a special water-soluble Wicked Witch!

3. District 9

Between the shuttlecraft, the powered battlesuit, the over-the-top weaponry and the aliens, this is a no-brainer.

2. Kill Bill

I can see a little yellow minifig Bride even more clearly than I see the Alien. She has two tiny katanas and a determined smirk.

1. James Bond films

Yeah, baby. One minifig in a tuxedo, a handful of others in bikinis, a Lego Aston Martin, retro-futuristic villain lairs... in the words of Homer Simpson, "This thing writes itself!"

Of course if Lego follows this advice, it may get out of control and start producing toys for other, less appropriate movies. So by way of warning...

Top 10 Nonexistent, Inessential and Entirely Inappropriate Lego Movie Tie Ins

10. The Exorcist

Part of Lego's new 'Scarring Your Children For Life' collection.

9. Saw

The only Lego set in which the minifigs arrive fully assembled, then you have to pull them apart.

8. Donnie Darko

I didn't understand it; what chance does an 8 year old have?

7. It's Complicated

Lego is supposed to bring out the child within each of us, not the middle-aged idiot.

6. The Big Chill

One building. No memorable characters. No vehicles. You do the math.

5. Purple Rain

They can't make minifigs that thin. Or that creepy.

4. Frost/Nixon

There'd only be one model set, consisting of two minifigs and a camera. Whee.

3. The Passion of the Christ

Now appearing in the dictionary as the new definition for "inappropriate". Of course that never stopped the Internet.

2. An Inconvenient Truth

The Al Gore minifig - the only one with more personality than the original.

1. Deep Throat

Mindboggling... but no.


Anonymous fishgosquish_gill said...

Mmmm Bond Lego! I want the Sean Connery and Daniel Craig ones!

12:06 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home