Wasted

Last Monday was my blogiversary, the fifth birthday of Get On The Blandwagon!


Calloo. Callay. Frabjous joy, and so forth. I sometimes have a momentary twinge of regret over the name of this blog, as it was chosen more or less on the spur of the moment and I gave it less thought than I have over far more trivial decisions. But the regret is, as I say, momentary. My life is one big blandwagon, about as sexy and exciting as a carpet tile, and going for a ride on it is like going to the fairground, ignoring the rollercoaster and the ghost train, and instead going for a slow drive around the park in a 2004 Toyota Avensis. It’s dull and modern, but it’s comfortable and hopefully people get a laugh out of it. Again, just like a 2004 Toyota Avensis.


According to the not-even-slightly patented Get On The Blandwagon! Modern Blogiversary Gifts List, the fifth blogiversary is traditionally celebrated with gifts of porn. Hmmm. Well, the internet it involved, so this should come as a surprise to no one. Fortunately over the last few years the concept of pornography has expanded (or become engorged, if you will) to include lust-inducing media of any kind, such as food porn, design porn, lifestyle porn, car porn, disaster porn – basically anything you slaver over in a way that shames you to a greater or lesser extent. So, if you feel the need, you can shower me with gifts of porn without risking either of our eternal souls.