Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Yesterday my friend JC picked up his new car; a 2007 Peugeot 207 GT. Last night he kindly let me take it for a spin, so that I could share the joy of new car ownership... and experience envy for things my 1994 VW Golf lacks, like metallic paint, parking sensors, a panoramic glass roof and an ability to go from 0 to 100 in less than an hour.

There's a lot to love about modern cars. When pausing at the traffic lights the engine was almost silent. I don't mean that it was very quiet; I mean that it was literally almost impossible to tell if it was still running or not. It has all of the cool features mentioned above plus stability control, intelligent braking, door mirrors that automatically fold themselves out of the way when you park, dual zone climate control and more airbags than an Andy Warhol installation. And yet this car cost almost exactly the same amount as his last car, a 1996 Holden Astra sedan, which had none of these features.

And if you decide to allow for inflation, the Peugeot actually cost less than the Holden.

Note that the numberplate, if you squint, says CROW. The gods of MST3K have obviously smiled upon this purchase.

However the features did not end there. As we motored up Nicholson Road I had cause to ask him...

What's that thing in the middle of the dash?

That's the fragrance diffuser.

Er... the fragrance diffuser?

Well, it is French.

And this fragrance came with the car?

Yes, but they offer a whole range of scents.

I hope for your sake that there are some manly fragrances offered.

I hope so too. I'd like New Car Smell.

Oh yeah. Or Beer.

Or Diesel.

Or Raw Meat. Grrrrrrrrrr!

Better yet, Hamburgers!

Seriously, did the designers of this car really sit down and say, "This car doesn't need GPS or tinted windows or a horn that plays 'La Marseillaise'. What it needs is a built-in perfume dispenser!"?

Well, maybe the French are especially stinky?

Either that or each car comes with a dead raccoon jammed behind the firewall as standard.


Blogger an9ie said...

A fragrance diffuser? How awesome are the French? (Pretty awesome, is the answer.) If that car dispenses croissants as well, I'm sold. Screw hybrids and saving the planet!

9:47 AM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

I checked the list of options for the Peugeot 207, and unfortunately a croissant dispenser isn't one of them.

Pain au Chocolat maker, yes. Cafe au Lait machine, yes. Software that adds a tone of sneering Gallic condescension to all of the readouts, yes. But no croissants.

It also automatically sets itself on fire if a disaffected French Moslem youth comes within 50 feet of it... just to save time. These Frenchies think of everything.

11:39 AM  
Anonymous jc said...

There's an optional Cafe au Lait machine? Damn. I knew I should have bought the GTi!

10:55 AM  

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