Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Spread (Part 2)

Still unsure which aliens abducted you last Friday night? 1956 Life magazine to the rescue!

life 1956 ufo 2

Let's have a closer look at some of the vehicles of our new alien overlords.

Ah, your classic flying saucer. No doubt the inside is all Eames chairs, Philippe Stark orange juicers and aliens in silver jumpsuits who utter classic statements like, "What is this thing you humans call... love?"

This one was first identified by a couple of tobacco farmers who described it as "cigar-shaped". It's a good thing it wasn't first identified by a couple of hookers.

A flying saucer with a rudder? Is that very useful on a vehicle operating in a vacuum? Does it also have a mainsail and an anchor? Does the captain shout things like, "Hard to starboard, Mr Gnyxthar, unless you want keel-hauling and taste of the lash, ye scurvy space dog!"

A "disclike glow surrounded winged object". First identified by a "navy flier and his wife", possibly after a visit from the Giant Rocket-Powered Space Spliff people.

It's unfortunate that later issues of Life magazine didn't include these handy guides to alien invaders. The 1970 issue, for example, wasn't much use unless you'd been abducted by Gloria Steinem or Helen Gurley Brown... in which case you had far bigger problems to worry about.


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