Monday, February 11, 2008

Spread (Part 1)

Phaedrus is clamouring for the Know Your UFOs spread from the 1956 Life, possibly to assist him in identifying which particular species has been abducting him from the wilds of Minnesota.

life 1956 ufo 1

Aliens are notoriously secretive about such things. It's kind of annoying; they think nothing of anal probing at the drop of a hat, and yet go all coy when you try to find out if they're from Jupiter or Saturn.

But enough about my dating life. Let's talk UFOs.

Environmentally conscious aliens travel the universe in low-flow shower heads. You just know there's a little green pointy-eared Al Gore on board.

Obviously an intergalactic scout vessel from the Tampax Nebula. Note the wings, which aid both atmospheric stability and leakage protection.

I don't know about you, but I start to think that someone is yankin' my chain when a UFO looks suspiciously like George Jetson's trilby.

This is not a UFO. This is a spotty teenager's reflection in a boomerang-patterned formica countertop.

The Giant Rocket-Powered Space Spliff brings you peace and love from the Stoner constellation. Providing they can remember where they're going and don't just end up in a 7-11 car park eating Doritos and staring at their hands.


Blogger Krista said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:59 PM  
Blogger phaedrus said...

Who had to go and cut down that beautiful stand of trees on UFO #4?

So they try to warn us off of nuclear war but are all too happy to see us toast in greenhouse gases?

Make up your minds!

1:01 PM  
Anonymous TroyG said...

You have a dating life? Given, then, your stated get-to-know-you proclivities, it should be obvious what planet _you're_ from.

9:27 AM  

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