Sunday, September 16, 2007


With limited activity options at the moment, I’ve realised I have more than enough time to sit down and read the final Harry Potter book… after reminding myself what happened in the last six by reading their Wikipedia entries.

If you haven’t read it, and you don’t mind a few spoilers, then here are a few of my favourite moments and revelations.

Top 10 Spoilers From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

10. Dumbledore isn’t dead. He’s changed his name to Fifi LaRaunch and escaped the stifling conventionality of Hogwarts for a career on the LA cabaret circuit.

9. Severus Snape’s real name is Matthew Wilson. Oh, the shame.

8. The Expelliarmus curse can be effectively countered by going up to the six year old who shouted it at you in the supermarket and slapping him upside the head.

7. Harry Potter graduates top of his class, only to discover that after seven years of magical education, only ever attending classes in Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts and the like, he doesn’t know how to write, spell or do arithmetic.

6. Following a multi-million dollar deal between JK Rowling and Volkswagen, Harry, Ron and Hermoine trade in their broomsticks so they can fight Voldemort in the spacious new Toureg turbo SUV.

5. Voldemort is revealed to be Dr Phil in a corset.

4. ‘The Deathly Hallows’ turns out to be a new flavour of icecream.

3. In a naked attempt to boost sales even higher, Harry spends two chapters trying to unlock the Da Vinci Code.

2. It turns out that Voldemort is really Harry’s father, while Professor McGonagall is his mother and Hagrid is his beloved childhood goldfish, Binky.

1. The book ends with Harry waking up and realising that the whole seven book series was just a dream, and he really is just a spotty little git living in the suburbs.


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