Tuesday, January 30, 2007


There comes a time in every episode of home maintenance when rational, well-considered problem-solving ceases to be useful, and infuriated violence becomes the only effective course of action. So it was that I came to be smashing the bejesus out of my saucepan drawer with a big hammer last night, as a screw had come loose inside one of the runners and locked it halfway open.

Oddly enough, even though the drawer had resisted all attempts to either open or close it, belting it with a hammer until the particle board splintered and cracked and started to come apart actually fixed it. Perhaps the vibration jostled the screw out of the way. Or perhaps I just convinced it that one of us was going to die, and it wasn't going to be me.

So next time your toaster burns your bread or your desk lamp blows yet another bulb, try kicking the crap out of it. The only love your home appliances and fittings respect is tough love.


Post a Comment

<< Home