Fix

It's been a fun day in the office. We've been taking turns trying to open a key cabinet which, ironically enough, has become jammed shut thanks to a faulty latch. The office girls tried wriggling the key and giving it ladylike little shakes. I gave it my patented Fonz-style punch that has often opened it in the past, but failed this time. We even subjected it to the less-than-tender mercies of the office bovver boy, who works out every day, gets into pub brawls and has so much testosterone that people's voices drop an octave if they sit in a chair he's recently vacated. But all to no avail. It became somewhat dented, with more panels out of alignment than a cheap Korean car, but still locked.


Eventually I accepted the inevitable and told Bovver Boy to do whatever it takes to get it open, which was like asking Vladimir Putin to fix a problem with a theatre full of terrorists. He attacked it with a heavy-duty screwdriver borrowed from some plumbers working on the pipes in a nearby office. It's amazing what brute force can acheive when coupled with a) decent leverage and b) an acceptance that the key cabinet is not going to survive this encounter.