Monday, July 27, 2009


On Saturday I bought some Lego. I was in the mood for it. I justify these occasional purchases by maintaining that my nephews love to play with it when they come to visit, but let's face it, that's just an excuse. A man buys Lego because it's fun. This explains why there are Lego sets which cost more than most children will see before puberty.

I bought the two cheapest sets in the new Space Police range, since I have a bit of a sci-fi theme running through my Lego collection. The scenario for each set is roughly the same: Space Police man barrels about in a rather ostentatious Space Police vehicle, chasing down an alien dude involved in anything from pickpocketing or running red lights to gold heists or prison escapes.

Unfortunately when adults play with Lego they ask stupid questions and give themselves even stupider answers. It's indicative of our hypersensitive, politically correct society that it seems somehow unwholesome that all the Space Police are human, while the criminals are aliens. What sort of society are they living in? Why are there no alien Space Police? Why are humans the only ones enforcing the Law? Is it because the Law is something they're imposing on others? And why are there no humans breaking the law? Does the Law not apply to them?

It's like something out of Cory Doctorow's most fevered fantasies.

I say that this poor alien has enough on his plate without being profiled as a criminal. His species obviously evolved on a planet on which it was more important to know what the weather was like than to know if you were about to trip over something; it's the only way to explain why his eyes look up rather than out.

Given that it's physically impossible for him to see any item he's holding, the poor guy probably doesn't even know that he has a 100 Space Dollar bill in his hand. He probably thinks it's just a chocolate bar or his TV remote. And now some little Lego Yellow Supremacist is all in his face about it. The fascist.


Blogger maxK said...

Oh my, you are funny. Very funny, in fact. Maybe even weirdly funny (and not in a HaHa sort of way).

You should be writing for the New Yorker instead of playing with Lego in Perth (although that is funny, too).

We're jumping on the Blandwagon.

xox, maxK

P.s. You know the Alien Legomen are evil. They just are. You say you'd befriend them, but would you ever invite them to the Club or take them down the Pub? Exactly.

2:47 PM  
Blogger TimT said...

Damn, that lego police man looks evil. If I saw him, I'd be running away, too.

7:54 AM  

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