Pompeii

The World Europa’s first port of call on this cruise was Naples. I’m sure Naples has many fine qualities, but since I’m rarely in this part of Italy this seemed like a good opportunity to bypass it in favour of Pompeii, which many people have assured me is a must-visit.

Pompeii was famously obliterated in 79AD by Mt Vesuvius, which now slumbers, covered in green farmlands and forests, with its peak wreathed in clouds, next to the autostrada and a thousand tacky tourist traps. Pompeii itself, what’s left of it, was a lot larger than I expected – even with thousands of tourists crawling all over the place, I could still find back streets that were completely deserted.

Most of the buildings in Pompeii are just stone and brick walls, as their wood and tile roofs were either destroyed in the fires or just collapsed over the last 2000 years. However some buildings with vaulted brick roofs are still intact, while others have had their roofs rebuilt to bring them back to their original configuration. Everywhere one looks, there are fragments of frescoes, bits of floor mosaic, millstones that were knocked into the streets and the eroded remains of marble fountains and troughs.

In addition, I did find the Tomb of the Unknown Penis.

At this time of year Pompeii is smothered in red poppies, which seems appropriate given the aura of death that hangs over the place. Pirate Pete was happy to pose in front of a field of them, but, ever on his guard, he made an example of one of them just in case they got any ideas. He’s seen ‘The Wizard of Oz’; he knows what’s what.

And finally, since the ancient Pompeiians were fans of lowbrow humour, here’s a little series I like to call; ‘Glory Holes… Of The Gods!’

Bro, make sure you visit the Fountain of Apollo on Saturn’s Day between XX and XXI hours.

Why, is it giving out divine blessings?

Um… yes. Yes it is.

Later in the evening I went to a solo traveller meet and greet in the specialty cocktail bar on Deck 7. There I made the interesting discovery, after asking one of the cruise directors, that out of the roughly six thousand passengers on board at the moment, only about twenty are traveling by themselves. Given that cruising with a partner radically reduces the cost per person, it makes sense that the majority of passengers would be part of a couple or family, but surely there are enough cashed-up singletons in this world to account for more than 0.3% of the passengers?

As it was, I chatted with a chef from Switzerland and a lawyer from Australia, and enjoyed a cocktail made with blackberries, cardamom and… booze of some sort. It was very nice, but with the current exchange rate it cost around $30, so it would need to be. Perhaps out of shame, or pity, the bartenders actually gave the lawyer and I, the last ones in the bar, a complementary cocktail; something creamy and nutty which definitely contained Bailey’s and also a nut butter of some kind. I didn’t ask - one does not question a free $30 cocktail.

As we were leaving, the lawyer, who was on his first ever cruise, ventured the observation that a lot of passengers seemed to have left their manners at home. He has much to learn about cruising.