Saturday, July 24, 2010


Getting older sucks. Forget baldness, fatness, and the clammy hand of death on your shoulder: there's also the issue of shoes. Walking around the outlet stores, I realised that the period of my life in which I can wear the latest thing in sneakers is over. And I mourn.

If this seems rather arbitrary, cast your mind back to the last time you saw a man beyond his mid-thirties wearing the latest Nikes. You can see him right now: sensible poly-cotton shirt from Target, dad jeans, supermarket socks and HUGE athletic shoes in chatreuese and neon orange. He looks like a twit. Worst of all, he probably thinks that he looks pretty cool.

Shoes with bright purple webbing or gold gel inserts are the providence of the kids. They have the MySpace hair and baggy pants to carry off such eccentricities. Older people, by contrast, are expected to know better. We're supposed to have developed a more sophisticated podiatric paradigm. After one's mid-thirties, discretion is the better part of casual footwear. But this is problematic when you want something to go with your jeans and a T-shirt.

Fortunately after shuffling through half a dozen outlet stores I had some success. I found some tasty black and plaid sneakers which should lend me just a hint of grooviness, rather than announcing, “Hello, I am having a mid-life crisis starting from the ground up”.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry - by the time you are over seventy you wont care. As long as they dont hurt your feet.

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Troy G said...

It does hurt, but the senility will take care of that.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe- but I am 75+ and still get sore feet. Where can you buy this senility stuff.

1:37 PM  

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