Thursday, June 03, 2010


Sometimes, despite my best efforts, I find that the eggs in my fridge pass their use by date before I get around to eating them.

To throw them straight into the bin would invite stickiness, bugs and horrible smells. So I always hard boil them first, which keeps them intact and unodiferous long enough to get them to the landfill.

A few nights ago I had to whip up a batch of muffins for an event at work the next morning, and while I was in the kitchen I cleaned the expired food out of the fridge, including a single egg, which I set simmering on one of the gas burners. I made the muffins, watched TV while they cooked, tested one for deliciousness, packed them into the fridge, turned off the oven, then noted that it was past midnight and went to bed.

I had to get up early for a delivery the next morning, and once I'd showered and dressed I had nothing to do while I waited for it to turn up, so I wandered into the kitchen to clean for a bit. When I grabbed the empty saucepan off the gas burner to clean it, I was actually surprised that there was an egg in it.

Why is there an egg in this saucepan, I wondered? Then I remembered what I'd done the previous night.

Wow, how did all of that water evaporate so quickly, I wondered, with breathtaking stupidity. Then I noticed that the gas burner was still on.

Fortunately I'd set it to a bare simmer, so that it took all night for the full pan of water to boil down to a dirty mark. It must have only just boiled dry, since there was no smell. Even so, the egg was actually burnt on one side. You don't see an egg with scorch marks every day.

I'm a danger to myself and others.


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