Monday, December 16, 2013


There's an old couple living just down the street from me, and this year they decided to get into the Christmas spirit and string rope lights across the front of their house to celebrate the festive season. They plugged the lights in at one end of their veranda, swagged them along the full length, then looped and swagged them back slightly lower. There was a little bit of rope light left over, so they just wound it up in a neat coil at the end. Job done.

Unfortunately, this looks less like a bright herald of Christmas cheer and more like someone has emblazoned the front of their house with a giant erect penis.

When I first saw the lights (and nearly crashed my car), I assumed that it was a juvenile attempt at humor by some of the university students who infest my suburb. But then I saw the elderly owners the other night, sitting on their veranda enjoying a nice cup of tea, giving no impression at all that they realised they were doing it by the light of a gigantic illuminated boner.

If I see them outside on another evening as I drive past, I may helpfully yell, "Oi! You're supposed to DECK the halls! DECK! WITH AN 'E'!"


Anonymous Troy G said...

You would never yell "Oi!", surely?

8:48 AM  
Anonymous Blandwagon said...

At driving speed, brevity is needed. If I preface my commentary with "I do beg your pardon..." I'll be halfway down he block before I get to the meat of the matter, as it were.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Troy G said...

Granted, although I was seeking for a Blandorial ipsissima vox. "Oi!" just doesn't seem authentic Blanders.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Blandwagon said...

What can I say, I'm a complicated man.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Noble Rot said...

Heh, "Christmas Pornaments"

4:19 AM  

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