Tuesday, September 08, 2009


The Flatmate, on Tea and Theology

The Flatmate: Here's your tea. You can add your own Devil's Powder.

Me: You do mean sugar, don't you?

TF: Yes.

Me: For a moment there I thought you might mean cocaine.

TF: No.

Me: And I only have cocaine in my coffee.

TF: I meant sugar.

Me: So, wait, if sugar is the Devil's Powder...

TF: Which it is.

Me: ... what do you call these? (Holds up packet of aspartame tablets)

TF: I don't know. The Devil's seraphim... or cherabim... or whatever...

Me: But aren't they worse than sugar?

TF: Yes.

Me: But nothing's worse than the Devil.

TF: Ah, but the Devil's seraphim are worse than the Devil.

Me: How?

TF: Well, they're like the Devil's employees. They actually choose to work for evil, whereas the Devil just is evil. He can't help it.

Me: So the Devil's just being himself, while the Devil's seraphim are in it for the money?

TF: Yes.

Me: At least he's not a hypocrite, not like these seraphim who are paid evil-by-the-hour scumbags.

TF: Now you've got it.

Me: Yes, I understand.

TF: Excellent.

Me: You're an idiot.


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