Wednesday, July 29, 2009


On Monday night I got a morsel of steak caught between a couple of my back teeth, and when I got out the dental floss to dislodge it, I attacked with a little too much gusto and lacerated my gum. Naturally it became infected and now I have a painful toothache all down the left side of my jaw.

It should clear up in a few days, but the mouth is the worst place to have this sort of minor infection. The pain radiates through all of those hypersensitive oral nerves. Eating or teeth brushing makes it worse. And this sort of injury is impossible to keep clean and dry.

I am at least trying to provide a level of antisepsis in my mouth. During the day this means hitting the antiseptic mouth wash as often as possible. In the evening I've been relying a different form of antispetic - the vodka martini. The near pure alcohol kills bacteria, with the added benefit of numbing the area and, eventually, numbing me too. I've been using a new variety of Zubrowka that has a remarkable bolt of vanilla augmenting the standard herb flavours, with a twist of lemon peel rather than an olive, and it's as fine as any man could want.

While I prefer to address the infection rather than just smother the symptoms, I've also had to resort to painkillers to get any sleep. Fortunately I discovered half a packet of expired Panadeine Fortes at the back of the medicine cabinet, and after using them I've been reminded that we live in an age of wonderful drugs. They took a while in kick in, but once they did the paracetamol bore the pain away and replaced it with the soothing embrace of codeine. It's like being wrapped in soft, sleepy kittens.

I'm actually rather looking forward to bedtime tonight.


Anonymous maxK said...

How fo I join. I want to Jump on the Blandwagon! where's that little button you click that says "JOIN?" Who am I? Wha? Oh! Gladiator..?

xox, maxK

12:29 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

I think you've already had rather too much martini and codeine, maxK. If indeed such a thing is possible.

1:18 PM  
Anonymous maxK said...

Sorry, it was actually Shiraz (I's drinks like a lady)!

Now about that button. How does one jump on the blandwagon without actually having to participate? I prefer reading to writing. Mostly.


5:46 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

If you're asking about RSS feeds and the like, mk, I have no idea. When I want to read a blog I just go to it and see if it's been updated. I realise that this makes me a luddite but I like to keep things simple.

11:34 AM  

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