Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Ever since I got back from my Christmas holidays I've been overwhelmed with a need for spring cleaning. The fact that it's the middle of summer is neither here nor there. Now that The Flatmate has moved out (as part of his whole "getting married" paradigm), I'm suddenly more conscious that the entire four bedroom house is a) mine to do with what I will and b) a dirty, slovenly mess.

Over the weekend I cleared out and reorganised my wardrobe, cleaned my bedroom, and reorganised and cleaned the living room. The living room was the most difficult task, because I had to replace the 100cm Sony Bravia LCD TV that The Flatmate had taken with him. As I am a man, and thus driven more by competition than by good sense, I went out and bought a 107cm Sony Bravia LCD TV.

Unfortunately the two-level art deco dresser that was just big enough to accomodate the old TV was just small enough to not accomodate the new one. So I had to swap it out with the chest of drawers from the entry, which didn't match the art deco coffee table that sits next to the TV, so that had to be swapped out with the Moroccan tables from the study, which in turn pushed the marble plant stand and antique telescope out of balance, so they had to be rearranged, then the contents of each cupboard had to be transfered across, but not before said contents were weeded and rationalised...

Let's just say that once you start messing with these things, they tend to snowball. And speaking of snowballs, or at least dirtballs, if anyone wants to open a museum of dustbunnies, spiderwebs and insect carcasses I am in a position to make a substantial bequest.

The cleaning mania continued last night, as I hauled my fridge out of its nook and gave both the fridge and the nook a thorough clean, including the tiles on the floor which I know for a fact last saw the light of day when the World Trade Centre was still standing. I also cleaned out the cupboards in the bathroom (why do I have four containers of dental floss?), tidied my bedside tables (why do I have five sets of headphones?) and rearranged the glasses in the glass cupboard (why am I so anal retentive as to arrange my glassware from left to right in order of desirability?).

There remains much to do: clean out the remaining kitchen cupboards, decommission the old fridge that The Flatmate used and put it into storage, tidy the laundry, and tackle the mountain of empty DVD cases, old credit card statements and random computer cables that make my study look as if it has Aspergers Syndrome.


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