Tuesday, August 12, 2008


On Sunday afternoon I completed Stage Three of my garden renovation, which is also Stage One of my plans for world domination. I finally got around to installing my Giant Killer Robot.

Actually this is only the prototype for my Giant Killer Robot Army, which was supposed to be enforcing my iron will across the globe by now. However it turns out that robotics is hard... much harder than playing 'Halo' or eating cupcakes. It took me six months just to complete my prototype, although admittedly five months and three weeks of that was taken up with playing 'Halo' and eating cupcakes while it leant against the wall in the garage.

While I expect that future soldiers in my Giant Killer Robot Army will be made of steel or possibly plastic, this one is made from painted and varnished plywood. Although it looks as if it's sunk into the earth, it's actually supported by two 2 metre jarrah posts, braced behind its chest and set approximately 400mm beneath the ground in concrete. So that it fulfills an aesthetic as well as super-villanous role, I'm underplanting it with sansevieria trifasciata in the background with agapanthus in the foreground.

The Flatmate has already come up with several ingenious ideas for lighting. Personally I'm more interested in finding a way to get it to bellow "CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY!" at burglars and/or the neighbourhood children.


Anonymous TroyG said...

To get your killer robot to bellow anything, you need a promixity alarm - just like on a security light - and attach it to an mp3 player - instead of a security light - upon which you've recorded your voice of doom.

Bada-bing crush kill destroy purple monkey dishwasher.

1:19 PM  
Blogger phaedrus said...

I hope he responds to "Blandwagon barada nikto" or we're all doomed. :(

10:52 PM  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

I wouldn't worry too much, phaedrus. Robotics is hard, but a tank-melting death ray is really hard. I doubt I'll ever get around to it.

Maybe I should just program the robot to play 'Halo' and eat cupcakes. That's easy.

11:40 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home