The internet is an unforgiving place, where one grammatical error or misconstrued opinion can result in a vast torrent of ridicule and vitriol. Few sites are safe, but there is one last place where people can indulge their ignorance, misconceptions, greed and false expectations without being trolled into oblivion.
I speak, of course, of eBay. You won’t find a larger collection of dumbasses anywhere on the internet. And because there are no comments, they can live in their fools’ paradises without molestation.
Like all subcultures, the Dumbasses of eBay tend to drift into distinct subcategories. These ones were taken from a single page (the first) within a single section (Sofas/Couches) for a single city (Perth).1. The Dyslexic Dumbassits a gray and bule sofa in great condition, there is a two seter and two sigal setters. its a pick up only..
To be fair, this person was obviously experiencing a stroke while typing. And also possibly while selecting their lounge suite circa 1989.2. The Aesthetic DumbassGorgeous, stylish black 2 seater leather sofa - will add a touch of class to any living area.
True, as long as we remember that “a touch” means “a very small amount”. This is about as gorgeous and stylish as Boris Johnson after a kahlua bender.3. The Shouting DumbassMULTI COLOURED LOUNGE SUITE
THANK YOU. Appropriately enough, the couch is even louder than the All Caps title, and may be being sold in accordance with a court order after it blinded several local children.4. The Misleading DumbassThree piece lounge suite eames era retro ( good con )
A good con indeed. This faux-Queen Anne monstrosity clings to the Eames design philosophy about as closely as Ingrid Newkirk clings to a side of beef. To call it Eames Era is like saying that Michael Jackson’s ‘Dangerous’ album is an example of grunge because it was recorded in 1991.5. The Grand High Dumbass of Financial ExpectationIt's a beautiful 3 piece suite which we have had for many years, it does have some small holes to it's cane work, and the covers have some marks.
It’s old, it’s ugly, and there are holes in the canework. Reserve price: $3,000
. Buy It Now price: $5,000
. Number of bids: 0
. Ha ha ha!
Meanwhile, in related news, I still can't find a new living room sofa I like.